Ssshhh . . . I hear the Tater's talkin'.

If Spring Were A Woman, I Would Kick Her ___!

2009-03-05T12:45:00.000-08:00

Spring in Oklahoma is such a tease. If she were a woman no man would ever date her!

One day it will be gorgeous and I will begin to think "YAY Spring!", then the next day it will snow and I think "Spring, you sneaky b*!?ch".

But her foulest trick came today. It is 78 degrees, the sun is shining and I'm dying to get out of the office and enjoy this day. And honestly I need something at this point to cheer me up because Gentleman is out of town and I'm missing the crap out of him!
Side note: I should really blog when Gentleman is in town because looking back at past blogs it sounds like he is always out of town or he's my imaginary Gentleman.
I walk out at lunch and almost get knocked off my feet by a gust of wind that had to be 800 mph. I get to my car finally which was a feat because my hair was violently lashing at my face and eyes, and of course I put on a fresh coat of lip gloss before I left work so my hair is also sticking to my lips. I am exhausted from fighting the wind and sink into the seat of my car in relief. But Spring was having none of that! She graciously sent another hurricane force gust which in turn slammed the car door on my leg.

I don't think I like her anymore!

Bad Bad People!

2008-10-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

There have been a crazy amounts of burglaries in my neighborhood lately, and I am just tired of bad bad people. I don't ask much...just don't steal my sh*t! Now, to clarify, they have not bothered me except for egging Gentleman's work truck, but they have attempted to break into my mother's car and have successfully gotten to almost all my neighbors. I have an ex-Marine for a neighbor who diligently sat outside and eventually caught some of the culprits, but I guess throughout the town people are getting broken into left and right, and most of them are home when the bad guys try to get in.
Gentleman is out of town right now, and I am feeling more than a little vulnerable so I've been sleeping with a mag-lite and one eye open. We have a dog but Gentleman and I both agree that he is ever-so-slightly inbred and useless as a guard dog. I have small children so NO guns are allowed in our house, because I suffer from gun ignorance and fear I would be more harmful to myself and family than the bad guys if a scary situation were to arise.
I am being robbed not of my possessions, but of my peace of mind and of wonderful fall nights sleeping with the windows open. Stupid bad bad people! I miss Gentleman!!!

Been a while...sorry

2008-05-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

So its been a year since I struck out on my own. And all in all its been a good year, not everything has turned out exactly how I had hoped, but I guess I can't always get my way, but boy it's nice to think about!
Yes, I know I'm not a good blogger at all, I wish I made more time to do this, but aside from my kiddos I'm not the most exciting person in the world. But...I'm working on changing that. I have this plan to have something in the works at all times, that way I constantly have something to look forward to. So currently I have a cruise coming up SUNDAY!!! Going alone, but it will be good. Going to Miami, Key West and Calica Mexico!!! It's a christian cruise with the most amazing artist performing ie Casting Crowns, Toby Mac and the list goes on! I plan on getting lots of sun, but never been on a boat for an extended period of time so I have bought Dramamine as a precaution. lol
Next, is Mom and Pops wedding the first part of June!!! I could not be more excited!! They both deserve all the happiness in the world and something tells me they've already got it.
Later in June it is my hope that some friends from Virginia Beach will be hopping on a plane and heading this way, I hope, I hope, I hope. Then my kids and I will return the favor in July, because if I go to Virginia Beach one more time without my kids I have a feeling they will disown me, and I just couldn't have that.
Last year I vowed that I would be in Vegas for my birthday this year, so I'm not giving up on that, but definately not going there alone, I'm just not that brave!
So why did I feel the need to share all my plans? I guess writing them down makes me accountable to see them through. I don't know maybe that's it.
I'm sure this isn't all that entertaining, and to be honest I'm having a hard time with funny lately, but hopefully will be back to myself soon. Learning to live a life I wasn't exactly prepared for, but trying to keep in mind that it's not all about me. Right now its my turn to hurt, but there are others hurting more than me in this world, and I still have too many blessing to count. Have made up my mind that I don't want to regret missing one day of my kids at this age, because just like every age they have been so far this is my favorite!

Not Dead, Just Divorced!

2007-07-23T10:45:00.001-07:00

I haven't written on here in forever. So long in fact that my last blog doesn't even sound familiar to me. So much has changed. I divorced my husband, I've lost 35 lbs, (need to lose about 8000 more) I'm moving to town.....Life is CRAZY but GOOD!

Don't air laundry so no details on the divorce, but he's a good man and a good Dad. I wish him the best.

Have found that once I was no longer married, the word dating sends shivers down my spine and gives me nightmares. I hate rejection but hate being alone even more so for now I'm stuck with alone 'cuz I'm a big baby. Don't get me wrong, there are men out there I would like to date, but maybe later.

Someone has taken to sending me actual sermons in the mail at work. This is pathetic, and sad. If I ever find who is doing this I will probably need to have a visit with them. ( a very loud visit)
Whoever it is believes that divorce is wrong regardless of the situation. They are of course wrong and I would love to tell them that.

Well that's about it, will try to do better about blogging.

Tater out.

SHEEESH!

2006-09-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

I have decided I am extremely tired of being fat.
Don't get me wrong it has its perks, its been ages since someone ask me to pose naked for playboy, and I'm so glad because that was getting hard to say no too. tee hee But seriously, I can see the looks of disappointment in my kids' and husband's faces and I hate it. I hate looking at myself in the mornings to get ready and I avoid mirrors the rest of the day as much as possible. And I also miss the occasional man glancing at me now and then, not that I want another man to be interested in me but for the love of pete it's nice to know that maybe in some small way you may have the ability to attract the opposite sex, and that ability, I know for sure, I no longer have.
Sorry to depress or be shitty this morning but it just hit me, that no quarter pounder with cheese is worth this. I haven't decided how but by damn this weight is comin' off.

Tater out!

ROUND'N UP THEM BLOGGERS YEHAW

2006-09-25T09:45:00.001-07:00

On Saturday Sept. 23, 2006 I went to the Okie Blogger Round-up in OKC with my sister the redneck diva to meet and greet all her friends and acquaintances she has made through blogging. All that read my blog know I am not good at maintaining my page so basically I just went to chaparone my dear Sis.
I have got to say that I had preconceived ideas in my head as to what everyone would look like and act like, but to my surprise there were some terrific people there and a real comradery that was really neat to witness. Not only will I be going with my sister again next year I will probably be blogging more and reading others more since I can put faces to blogs.
Now don't get me wrong some there did fit my profiling and others surprised even me, but all seemed like decent people.
Mike the coordinator of the Round-up impressed me beyond words. What a guy, and Wow that he would be willing to put in all the work to arrange it all on his lonesome. If you can arrange to go next year it is worth it to meet Mike trust me.
BTW!!!!
My sister won best humorous blog. What an honor, but I can't say I'm surprised she is severely talented and can put a comedic spin on anything. It was well deserved, and trust me I rode home with her, it was much appreciated. Well not much more to say it's Monday and all ya know.

Tater out

Here she is... Mrs Taterica

2006-07-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

TEE HEE
That was a spin on Miss America.
Yeah I know I have been such a disapointment not keeping up my blog, but please don't be too hard on me, remember I only a commontater.BWAAHAAHAA
My life is not nearly as exciting as my Sis the Redneck Diva, but since I blogged last we have bought a farmette, moved into the farmette, raised chickens from chicks and here comes the mystery DUMDUMDUM... Some mysterious beast of the Oklahoma Hills is KILLING MY CHICKENS!!!!!!! The first night it got 9 of them, we mourned but at least we still had 16 left. We stepped up farmland security and raised the mysterious beast alert level to orange. The chickens were under close watch and everything went well for a few weeks... UNTIL...Jon got up to let the chickens out at daybreak so they could get the good bugs, you know the ones that haven't had time to get back in their little buggie holes, and then he returned to bed. I got up at six a.m. and looked out the window and there were little chicken parts all over our front and back yard, THE BEAST HAD STRUCK AGAIN!!!! And it killed 13 chickens in the span of less than one hour. So our theory is it is a pack of beasts or one freakin' scary beast. Needless to say we only have three chickens left and we are a mixture of sad and pissed off. In the words of my wise husband, "It will take us four days to get a full dozen eggs now" ( that's why he's a college instructor he is SOOOO wise haha)
But that is the extent of my farmette excitement. I hope to be updating frequently since I have a job where I have the internet now, because my tightassed husband still won't let us get it at home.
Tater out.

Casinos are not my friends!

2005-09-27T00:36:00.000-07:00

So I go to one of the many Indian casinos in town and I go with not one red cent. I figure if I don't take any money in I can't spend it, right? Well they have been having drawings for ladies night for well over a year and I have never been drawn out, there are seven drawings total, one every ten minutes from ten to eleven every Monday night. Well last night they draw the first six winners and of course it wasn't me, but the last drawing for $500 was called and guess what . . . I walked in with $0 and left with . . . nothing, of course it wasn't my name that was drawn are you kidding. But I'm very proud of myself for not gambling, I think I'll find a new hobby. I'm growing tired of corrupting my lungs with the smoke of cheap cigarettes and losing money that I could definately put to better use. It's fun to be with adults on Monday nights, but I just don't think it's good for me anymore. I would really like to get together with the same group I see on Mondays but elsewhere. I don't know how many believe the same as me but I feel like God definately gives me signs and cues on how to live my life, and I think I gettin one now. I don't think gambling is wrong mind you, I just feel it is wrong for me right now.

For those of you that don't know I call my kids Tiny Tot for my youngest and Tweeny Tot for my oldest, (get it? they are Tater's tots.) Well Tweeny did the sweetest thing the other day, she has such a hard time getting up and around for school in the mornings and the previous morning we had had a really rough go of it with her so I told her she had to start being less grumpy and get ready on time or she would have to give up one of her activities. The next morning I went to get her up, I said "wake up little rose bud" (which is the way my Mom used to wake me up when I was young. I loved it) she rolls over and I notice she not wearing what I put her to bed in, I look down and she has her shoes on too. I asked her what was up and she said I wanted us to have a happy morning so I got up last night and got dressed and went back to sleep so I wouldn't be late getting around this morning. She tells me days are like pickles some are sweet and some are sour. I truely hope when my kids get older that when they think of their childhoods that the sweet days totally outweigh the sour days.

Hey I've decided to start something, everytime I blog at the end I'm gonna ask a question and anyone that wants to comment that would be great, I'll respond to the question in the comments section too so that you can think about it before you hear my opinion, 'cause believe you me I have an opinion on EVERYTHING!!!!

The question today is "Assuming that you are a generous person (and even if you're not too bad) if you had all the money you need what organization or cause would you want to contribute too?"

The fat lady shouldn't wear a thong!

2005-09-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

Now that I have your attention...(sadly though I found this to be true yesterday in the blistering sun for 8 hours at an auction but I won't go into that, oh wait, I already did.)

Today is MONDAY!!! I love mondays, all except for the kids going back to school, that sucks.

Mondays I do laundry. I LOVE LAUNDRY. I know I will get little support in this area from others but this is one of my many duties as a stay-at-home lady that I groove on. My favorite is hanging my clothes out to dry, which I can't do now because the Matriarch does not have a clothesline. But don't cry for me, I will carry on (dweep, dweep)(that's the sound of my tears if ya couldn't tell.) Speaking of laundry, I am so mad at the Diva, last week, I had to do laundry at her house 'cause the Matriarch's washer was broken, (which is probably because of all the laundry I do, watch out sis your's is next) and I ran out of time so I left a load in the washer and ask if she could bring them into town when she came in and I would dry them. Well she took it a step farther, she forgot to bring them so the next day she brought them dried and folded. She really went above and beyond I was so appreciative. She brought them in a sack so when it came time for the auction yesterday I just grabbed a t-shirt out of the sack, (heaven forbid I put my laundry away) and went on my merry way. . . does anyone know what happens when you wear a soured shirt on a hot sweaty day? I smelled like BUTT all day long, we were far from home so there was no changing. Needless to say, there were a lot of people yesterday that have learned not to stand too close to the Tator. Just had to harass ya sis!

My niece Kady asked me if I would write about strawberries soooo. . . Strawbabies are alecious! (translation: Strawberries are delicious) This message has been brought to you by Kady Hoover and the NSSA (the National Stawberry Society of America) reminding you that strawberries are not only delicious they will stain your face too!

Well as you know I am blogging at the Divas because my husband (the muscle monkey) won't let me get the internet. But cute little babies mom had a great idea this morning. If I take online classes, I'll have to get the internet and can blog to my hearts content. YIPPEE! Now I just have to take enough classes to go to school the rest of my life 'cause I sure once I get my degree he would cut me off again. I think I'll just play Oklahoma's new lottery and win so I can pay for the internet myself, oh wait it hasn't started yet, well. . . it's back to the indian casinos for me. haha
Actually every month I get a thirty dollar allowance to spend on whatever I want, so far I have spent it on the occasional diet coke at Sonic and the Indian casinos but maybe I could just get the internet, thirty dollars should cover it right? Well I must go and be laundry queen of Oklahoma. Thank you to everyone that commented, You love me, you really love me!

Tator Out!

Tater Talk

2005-09-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

Well here I am. Hellooooo! Oh hell no one is even coming to my blog because no one knows anything about it. Hopefully when my sister, Redneck Diva, starts gettin my name out into the cyber Milky Way I shall be princess of bloggerville... haha. I just want some friends, help me, please.

The Diva and I have been painting props for the up and coming fall carnival at our kids' school, we needed a break so I created a blog and Diva went to go wash her face and pluck her chin-hairs. (I so had permission to write that.)

I, my husband and two children (Tater's Tots) are currently living with my mother while we remodel an old house we just bought. I was told we would be in by July, what a FREAKIN LIAR my husband turned out to be. We are getting so close though. I can't wait to get my own space again. Do you know how hard it is to have sex when your kids share a room two feet away, and your headboard is against the same wall as your mother. IT SUCKS!
Well this won't be the most frequently updated blog since I don't work and since I dont' have the internet because my squeaky tight husband sees it as an "unnecessary expenditure", but I will post everytime I'm at Diva Delightful Den. Oh crap I'm bored.

Diva is telling me to tell a story sooooo.....

Once upon a time there was an overbearing sister that wouldn't keep her pointy nose out of my blog, They soon found her in a fifty gallon barrel THE END.

There's your damn story Diva YA LIKE IT? HUH?

Well the alluring lullaby of the local Indian Casino is proving too strong to resist so I will have to return at a later time much poorer.

Tater Out.